


How to Say "I Love You" Without Words

by FirstFinalFarewell



Category: Persona 4
Genre: F/M, I have no regrets, This isn't happy, everyone dies, like literally one character is alive at the end, you have all been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 18:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5058631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FirstFinalFarewell/pseuds/FirstFinalFarewell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She gestured towards the taller man, trying to show how she felt, how she had always felt. She was lucky the illness hadn't taken him away, and she wanted to tell him that, but how could she without words.</p><p>He understood.</p><p>  -~*</p><p>Three years ago an epidemic spread across the world they all lived in, killing hundreds, maybe even millions, but that wasn't all. It messed with people's heads, and took away all forms of speech, along with reading a writing. Communications became scare, and people had trouble containing emotions. The world was a wreck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Say "I Love You" Without Words

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Speech Sounds](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/151615) by Octavia E. Butler. 



> Yee I hope you're all ready for some Naoto/Kanji feels cause I'm writing an AU based off a short story I recently read, Speech Sounds by Octavia Butler, and it's really good A+ material I totally recommend reading it and I liked the world in it SO AU TIME WOAH also I know I have non-binary headcanons for Naoto but for the universe of this Naoto's just going to be a girl, okay? Okay.
> 
> I'm also oddly writing Kanji as the main character for once which rarely happens because I love writing Naoto like seriously guys I've never written Kanji as the main wow anyways because of the nature of the story his name probably will not be said for like half of it but you'll know it's him trust me. And Nanako. She's real important. Yeah. Also near the end Naoto is the main character.
> 
> Lastly there are intense trigger warnings on this fic. There's blood, murder, guns, sad shit, suicide mentions, death, more sad shit, and a decease that pretty much makes us unable to have any form of communication. Oh and sad shit. Yeah, like everyone is dead. No lie. This is some sad shit right here. Like I guess they aren't sure if Rise is dead and Teddie is only mentioned like once but everyone else including like all the social links are dead fun times am I right?

Walking out to the abandoned Shopping District, the man simply looked around for the place he was trying to find. He had just left his home, right? He was trying to find the bus stop. It should be where it had always been, right? Now where was that. Oh right, at the other end.

Why was he even looking for the bus stop anymore? Modes of transportation other than by foot became scarce, and even so it was too dangerous to walk. He passed in front of the abandoned shrine. Not even the fox went anymore. He stopped there for a moment and looked at some of the Emas. He couldn't read them, and abruptly left.

He passed in front of the old tofu shop that used to be run by the family of one of his close friends. Briefly wondering what she could be doing now, he walked passed it again. In front of Moel, he saw some abandoned cars, as would be assumed at the gas station. And then to his left would be the bus stop, right?

Right. There it was, right where it should be, not that he could read the words saying "bus stop" anymore. He looked closer and saw two figures standing by the sign in silence. Of course they were silent, nobody could talk anymore.

Looking closer, he recognized them. A boy with light brown hair, gone insane because of the illness, Yosuke, and a short girl, looking as stoically silent as he always remembered, Naoto. He was surprised to see Yosuke hadn't tried to attack Naoto yet, a lot of people tended to do that. They would randomly lash out in incomprehensible screeches and physically hurt the ones they used to call friends. That's how they had lost Yukiko and Chie to old classmates of theirs. Unfortunately, the attackers didn't last long either, as the illness doesn't just take away speech and sanity, but it can also take lives. Yeah Inaba was finally quiet again, but not in a good way. He slowly approached the others.

He gave a gesture of waving a hand, hello. Naoto looked up at him, which anyone could tell probably strained her neck a bit as he was exactly a foot taller than her. She waved back. Yosuke stayed silent.

Naoto gestured, asking why he was there waiting for the bus. He answered honestly, trying to gesture in a way that said he didn't know.

She understood. Yosuke stayed silent.

He in turn asked Naoto why she was waiting for the bus. She responded by gesturing that she didn't know either.

He understood. Yosuke stayed silent.

Eventually, all three decided it was useless, and started to walk in different directions; Yosuke towards the abandoned Junes, the man to his home at the other end of the shopping district, and Naoto just in a random direction.

As he was walking back he heard a loud bang come from behind him. Lovely, yet another petty shooting. Wait, he knew someone who had a gun, and someone who would have instigated them to use it. He didn't want it to be true, but when he arrived at the scene to see his old senpai lying dead in a pool of blood ever growing and Naoto with a horror struck face and gun pulled out, he knew he was right. Naoto simply looked at him and he figured out what happened. Yosuke lost his mind, and tried attacking her. Makes sense, the older boy was right-handed. Left-handed people were the ones who seemed not to lose their minds as easily.

He looked down at the dead body. This was getting more and more normal for him. He looked back up at Naoto and saw she was putting her gun away. The two of them were left-handed, so they weren't likely to lash out at each other.

Naoto gestured that she didn't really have a place to go and that she had taken the long trip from the city to Inaba on foot. He was impressed she had done that, but then she tried gesturing to say Yu had come with her, but he didn't make it for the same madness that took Yosuke had taken him, and Naoto had never been one to take kindly to sexual acts of intimacy that were the wrong way.

They walked back up the shopping district quietly, silently. It used to be the life of the town, and now it was barren, useless. Wordless shouting could be heard from some of the shops, and two people that weren't there earlier were now wrestling it out in the middle of the street. No cars passed through, and it seemed dead. Yeah, that was the only word to describe it, dead.

He was barely able to make out the sign that read "Tatsumi Textiles", the shop bellow his home, that used to be his family's. He was all alone now, his family had all passed on. Now that he thought of it, there was only one person other than Naoto in his immediate friend group that may be alive, but Rise had probably lost her mind along with her voice. What good was an idol who couldn't sing?

Naoto seemed as though she couldn't make out the sign any more than he could, in fact probably even worse. He had figured that people lost what they valued most with the illness. Most people lost the ability to read, just others more. Other forms of expression were lost too. Artists who could no longer draw, musicians who could no longer play their instruments, and a textile shop owner who can no longer sew. Yeah, it sucked.

They walked in silently and then simply turned and looked at each other. The man hadn't seen Naoto since before the illness, and it was odd for him to see her not hell-bent on solving the next mystery, not that there was any need for the police anymore, the world had already descended into anarchy. Murder was common, the man had just seen it like it was nothing. It was normal to lose friends that way.

Naoto had a look of fear in her eyes, as if she wasn't ready to trust him yet. Makes sense, it was hard to find a man who wouldn't rape the first woman he saw, or who wouldn't try to murder everyone he saw, anymore. It was hard to find a man like him. He gestured trying to tell her he wasn't going to attack.

She understood.

Another loud bang could be heard from outside, probably another mass gunner. The man could tell it was taking Naoto a lot of self restraint not to go out and try and fight them. She was an ex-detective, and always had fought to protect innocent people, but was anyone really innocent in this world anymore? They just stayed silently together for a few days.

Eventually, however, Naoto knew she would have to leave. Sure it was safer to stay with someone like him, but she wasn't one of those woman. Because a majority of the men in the world had passed on when they contracted the illness, a lot of woman stayed close to the few sane men they could find. It was hard, and there was usually three, maybe even four, woman per man, sometimes more. It disgusted the young man she was staying with.

A few hours later the man awoke after hearing another bang. He looked around his house for Naoto, but couldn't find her. He rushed outside as fast as he could and saw her surrounded by men not much older than them. The taller one with light brown hair lunged at her first, but she dodged and he ran into the old window of Tatsumi Textiles. The shorter one with shoulder length black hair made a move next. Even in insanity, those two truly were the best of friends, going after others together, though the man never really knew them all that well.

"Da da da da da!" The shorter one yelled out, narrowly avoiding Naoto's bullets. Along the way, the young man had also acquired a gun, most semi-sane people had, and was getting ready to draw it on the two attackers. The taller one got back up and grabbed some glass, this time running to attack the young man in the back this time. Naoto made a quick gesture trying to say watch out.

He understood. He barely jumped out of the way in the last minute, and the taller man ended up hurting his shorter companion. The shorter one responded by punching the other in the face, giving Naoto and the young man enough time to leave.

As they ran away from the shopping district, they realized how much they needed each other for survival in this world. It was hard enough as it was to find sane people, and those few individuals needed to stick together. Naoto abruptly stopped. She gestured towards the taller man, trying to show how she felt, how she had always felt. She was lucky the illness hadn't taken him away, and she wanted to tell him that, but how could she without words.

He understood. His response, a gentle kiss on her forehead, the best way to say I Love You without words.

She understood. Her response, wrapping her arms around his waist as she began to cry for what felt like the first time in forever. She wanted to cry out his name, let him know she was sorry for running out that morning, and that she wanted to talk to him just one more time.

As they were standing there, two young children ran by, laughing. And one key thing sounded in Naoto and the young man's ears.

"Hey Sakura! Hurry up!" The little boy called out. He could have been no older than two, meaning he was born into a world with the illness, it was all he ever knew.

"Why don't you slow down Raiden?! You know I'm not fast!" The girl giggled, trying to catch up. She was the same age as the boy.

It had been so long since the man and Naoto had heard anything but gibberish and incomprehensible screams, and hearing the children talk was like music to their ears. As the children noticed the two looking down at them, they stopped in their tracks, and they stopped speaking, as if they weren't allowed to. For a while the four just stared at each other. The man turned to Naoto and made a gesture trying to say that they needed to find a way to ask if they had parents that could teach them to talk.

She understood. She was well experienced in trying to communicate with people who didn't understand the gestures, so she tried her easiest to gesture towards the children.

They... They didn't understand. They just looked at each other, as if they didn't know if they could talk again. The boy nodded, and so did the girl.

"You guys can't talk, right?" The girl asked. The man and Naoto nodded their heads.

"We were told not to talk to people like you, you guys could be dangerous." The boy shied away and hid behind the girl.

"Raiden, they haven't attacked us yet, I don't think they will..."

"You don't know that Sakura!"

Naoto couldn't help but give a small smile at the children. She went down to their level and tried telling them she was still sane.

They didn't understand. The boy still shied away and the girl bickered with him. Eventually an older child ran over to them. Naoto and the man recognized her, they knew her before the illness. They had both assumed she hadn't made it far after her father died, but she didn't seem to have any of the symptoms of the illness even. She could talk.

"Raiden, Sakura, are you two okay?" She asked, placing her hands on their shoulders. She hadn't even noticed the man and Naoto.

"We're fine big sis! Raiden was just scared of these people and I was telling him they probably weren't going to hurt us!" The girl, presumably Sakura, smiled up at the older girl who turned her head to face the two adults. She hadn't seen either of them in about three years, but they hadn't changed enough that she wouldn't be able to recognize them. She knew them right away.

"You two can't talk, can you?"

They shook their heads.

"Is big bro okay?"

They shook their heads.

"Are you two all alone?"

They nodded.

"And you're sure you can't speak?"

They nodded.

With that, the older child turned to the two younger children.

"Don't worry. They were friends of my big bro, and they don't seem to have lost their minds, we should be okay!" She smiled at them, and the boy who was hiding, presumably Raiden, immediately came out and looked up at them. The man tried to give a smile, but it came out more awkward and crooked than he thought. That made the children laugh.

"Come on, let's go home big sis!" Sakura smiled brightly up at her guardian, Nanako. She nodded and the man and Naoto followed them back to the Dojima residence. As they entered, it was as it was three years prior, it had never changed.

"Why don't you two go back up to your room?" Nanako told the children, and they listened to her. She then sat down near the table and told Naoto and the man to follow her. Naoto gestured, trying to ask what was going on, why could she speak?

She understood. She told them how she had never lost the ability to speak, and how she had taken in these children after losing her own father and watching them lose their parents. She taught them how to talk and how to read, which immediately made Naoto jealous for some reason.

While the man had lost those abilities as well, Naoto must have lost them even worse. With enough work, the man could make out a few words, but Naoto couldn't even do that.

"The children sleep in dad's room. I kept Yu's room clean in case he ever came here..." She ended off, trying to hold back her own tears. The three of them were all alone, but even though they knew they should be trying to help each other out, Naoto and the man couldn't help but be so jealous. She didn't lose anything, and the two of them lost everything. Who wouldn't be jealous?

"Can you guys read?"

They shook their heads.

"I can teach you guys to read again if you want."

Just the simple look on Naoto's face could let anyone know that's exactly what she wanted, even if she couldn't thank the young girl.

"But maybe we should try some speech first. Why don't you try saying your names?"

It took a few hours, but the young man was first to be able to speak.

"Kanji..." He barely uttered. His voice was even more coarse than it would have usually been because of it's lack of disuse over the years. "Kanji... Tatsumi..."

"That's perfect! Your turn now." Nanako responded, turning her head to look directly at Naoto, who had happy beams on her face from hearing Kanji speak, yet could not respond. As much as she tried and tried, nothing came, she could not speak. When they looked outside, they saw it was already dark out. Another day come and gone like their expression.

They stayed like that for a few weeks now, Nanako trying to help the young adults, and still Naoto could not say a word. It was still hard for Kanji to speak as well, but he was getting there, and yet he didn't want to speak in a silent world, especially when the one he wanted to talk to was a part of that world. It was like they were in different realms, and you wouldn't be able to cross the boundary between the two no matter how hard you tried.

"Raiden, Sakura, it's time for dinner!" Nanako called out to the children who were busy playing with whatever upstairs. Kanji and Naoto assumed it was probably with Nanako's old toys. Despite only being ten years of age now, they noticed that Nanako was carrying herself like an adult. They assumed she had to do that because their were no sane adults left, that she had to be one so those kids would never have to be. It was admirable, but both Naoto and Kanji knew they should be taking on that role now.

"Coming big sis!" Raiden's voice echoed through the otherwise silent house. Two seconds later the two came running down the stairs to the small table they all sat around. It was squished with five people, obviously only made for four, but they made it work. Raiden and Sakura conversed with Nanako while Kanji and Naoto ate silently. After they were finished, they all helped clean up and then the children went to sleep. That night, someone snuck out.

In the morning was when they noticed. No one could find her anywhere inside, even they knew she was smart enough to know it was safer that way. Naoto was missing.

Nanako and Kanji told the children to stay put and to only leave to get them if Naoto came home. They nodded their heads and then they began their search. Every gun shot they could hear, they ran to source, not suprised by seeing that it was just another killing and not who they were looking for. They searched what seemed like everywhere in Inaba for her, but she was nowhere to be found. Not near their old school, not near the shopping district, or the Samegawa Flood Plain. Kanji even tried to go inside the TV, but only found their old companion in his bear suit cowering in the corner hopping he didn't end up like the people in the real world. Their last stop was the Junes department store, just as abandoned as the rest of Inaba. They crept up the old stairs checking every level for Naoto, but no one was there. No, not until they reached the rooftop.

"Naoto what are you doing out there?" Nanako called out, seeing the young ex-detective on the edge of the building. She turned her head and looked at them. She tried to make a gesture saying she couldn't take it anymore, that she couldn't handle not being able to talk around a bunch of people who could, that she was losing it not being able to read. She was useless now, and she hated it.

He understood. Kanji rushed to the edge to grab her as she tried to run off. He had never spoken directly to her, he still stayed silent in her presence. He knew how she felt. they were in different worlds now, but he would run to the ends of the earth to try and be a part of both. He didn't want to give up speaking again, but he didn't want to lose her. It was silence, or sadness. He had to pick.

"I know that you can't talk, and I know that you must feel so out of place but dammit I don't want to lose you! I can't lose you!" He barely uttered as he pulled her back onto the roof. Anyone could see he was holding back tears, and that he was worried beyond relief for her safety. "I'll go silent again if it will mean you'll stay by my side! Don't you fucking understand! I don't want to live in a world without you!"

Naoto could only look up at him, instantly feeling regret for ever thinking that the world would go on being it's quiet self without her. Maybe the entire world wouldn't change, but one man's entire life would. She was needed in this world of insanity and madness to keep one person sane. Useless was definitely not the word to describe her.

She gave a smile as one of Kanji's tears finally escaped and fell onto her cheek. She wiped the rest of them away and gave a quiet kiss, and just for a moment, both of them forgot how bleak the world was. They went back to the Dojima residence and never left each other's side after that. They needed each other for survival. The next day, they decided to go back to Kanji's place. Kanji explained how he thought it may help Naoto's state of mind to be somewhere away from talking, away from that place.

The walk back to the shopping district was short and peaceful. Kanji refrained from speaking to Naoto at all except through the gestures, so that she may not feel any sense of awkwardness. It was nice, and peaceful, and they both enjoyed it. After the scare the day prior, they felt at ease now that it was just them again.

When they were standing just outside the old textile shop, memories of they days they spent together before they heard speech again filled their minds. Especially the day they reconnected. It was all so sudden, but after about a month of being together again, they were able to finally see it all clearly. Naoto killed Yosuke, they were attacked by old schoolmates, they found people who could talk, and Kanji regained his speech. The speed at which all this happened, it shouldn't have been that alarming, but maybe it was more so because they had also rediscovered happiness and love in that short month as well. So much had happened, and neither were ready to let go of those shackles that held them to the past.

And as they were standing there, it happened. One sound of a bullet being shot from a gun and the look of blood trickling down the young man's head. Someone just shot Kanji.

Naoto swiftly turned her head to look behind her and saw no one. There was not a soul in sight, so who could have taken him away? Just as the day prior, when he said he could not live in a world without Naoto, she was beginning to feel the same way about him. Those days of soft kisses and bright smiles were forever taken from her. She was the only one left.

The figure walked out from the shadows, a murderous face all too familiar. Though he was jailed not long before the illness, he probably broke out just as anarchy was beginning to ascend on the world. His craze eyes and unkempt figure proved that he was just keeping up the old habits in new ways. With murder a common thing, he didn't need to hide behind decoys and TV screens anymore. Tohru Adachi was just living up to whatever people expected of a murderer in the common era. Crazed, mad, mute, and menacing.

Naoto quickly pulled out her own revolver, prepared to take another life if she had to. Adachi didn't even step forward. The two just stood there, point the barrels of their guns at each other. In all honesty, Naoto wouldn't mind if she got killed, just not by the man who took Kanji away. No, she wouldn't be killed by the man responsible for all those murders and attempted murders three years ago, including her own. Adachi would not kill her today.

She noticed his finger move slightly and moved out of the way before the bullet was shot. She moved away from the window as it was about to shatter and shoved him on the ground. She placed the barrel of the gun at the top of his head and gave a look that said if eyes could murder, he'd already be gone. She was prepared to shoot, but something in her kept her from doing so. Adachi gave a crazed laugh, and that was all it took for her to finally shoot him dead. She finally spoke her first words in three years.

"Burn in hell..."


End file.
